As we start off the new year, many of us will make resolutions to lose weight, be more organized, exercise daily, and eat more vegetables.
While these are all wonderful intentions, perhaps the best intention we can set for the new year is to truly love and accept ourselves once and for all.
Imagine being free of the trap of envy and comparison of others, and living each day from a place of radical self-acceptance and love.
How many times have you been on social media and you see a friend from high school who is going to fabulous places all over the globe, looking fit and happy with her beautiful family — and you secretly hate her?
Has your neighbor ever driven by you in their brand new fancy car and you think to yourself, “What a jerk!”
Maybe your colleague just received a promotion, and you smile and wish them well, secretly hoping they fall flat on their face.
Has a friend ever called you to gush about their amazing new relationship and you find yourself hoping it blows up?
It’s possible you find these thoughts appalling and can’t imagine ever thinking something so distasteful. If that is the case, then kudos to you — you have reached spiritual perfection, and you need to enlighten the rest of us.
I think most of us can relate to feeling this way at some point in our lives. These thoughts do not make you an evil person, rather, they make you human. When we compare ourselves to others and fall short, we will find a way to level the playing field through negative thoughts toward them. It secretly makes us feel better about ourselves.
The fact is, we have all felt jealous or envious at some point. The key is to own it, dig deep into what is really going on within us, and work on moving through the negativity.
When we feel envious of others, they represent something we want. Seeing someone else reach a goal or desire that you have in your own heart can feel like a slap in the face. It can hurl you into a downward spiral of self-loathing that gets projected onto others as anger and irritability.
Don’t spend another minute of your energy being jealous of someone else. Recognize that jealousy may be your knee-jerk reaction, but then move through the feeling to get to the root of the issue.
This feeling of unworthiness is rooted in the belief that you are not good enough or worthy enough to get what you want. Deep down you don’t believe you can have the partner, job, house, bank account, or body that the “lucky” ones get. You believe that you are stuck to live a life of mediocrity and that you won’t ever get what you want.
This is a lie! You are worthy of having every good thing your heart desires! It is possible to reach your goals, but you have to shift your belief system. People who are constantly angry and jealous believe that they are not worthy of having happiness and peace and wealth in mind, body, spirit, and in their finances.
When you begin to examine your belief system, focus on where the negative beliefs came from. Did a parent withhold love, affection, and praise from you? This will manifest later in adulthood as feelings of unworthiness and never feeling good enough. Go back to the beginning and see if you can draw a map of how you got to this point.
When you feel jealous of someone else, immediately say to yourself, “I am worthy of having that.” When you see a car you love, a home you want, a body you admire, immediately shift your focus to your worthiness and self-worth. Flood your spirit with affirmations:
I am worthy of love.
I am worthy of material wealth.
I am worthy of a loving partner.
I am worthy of a beautiful home.
I am worthy of a strong, healthy body.
I am worthy of success.
Pay attention to how you feel when you focus on your worthiness. You may feel uncomfortable, scared, tearful, or hear the familiar whisper, “Yeah right. Keep dreaming. This is so stupid.”
Don’t get sidetracked by those types of feelings. You are simply reprogramming your spirit from downloading years of negative messages. Keep flooding yourself with love and acceptance, and you will slowly notice a shift. Remember, it took years for you to feel this way, so it will take some time to reprogram your new belief system.
You will begin to notice that the feelings of envy start to fade — instead of wanting to punch the colleague who received a promotion, you will be able to share in their joy and recognize that you too are worthy of the same success.
It is a true gift to be able to genuinely share joy in the success of others. It frees you from all of the fear, self-loathing, and feelings of unworthiness. When you begin to celebrate and share in another’s success, it is a sign that you too believe you are worthy of good things.
Don’t spend another minute with a set of beliefs that will bring you despair and anger. Begin to make the shift today and affirm your worthiness. You are worth it!
