The Joys of Coaching Youth Sports

It was a gorgeous sunny Sunday morning just south of Sun Valley, Idaho for our final day of Overspeed Hockey’s Winter Clinics at the town of Hailey’s Campion Ice House. Riley, a young “Squirt” player (ages 9-10) was changing shifts when she slipped on the ice and slid feet first into the foam and vinyl barrier that separated the ice rink surface into thirds for the cross-ice 3 vs. 3 games. As she was sliding, we made eye contact and she had this ear-to-ear grin that was part bruised ego but mostly sheer joy. As she got up giggling, the other girls and boys surrounded her to laugh along with her. I made sure she was okay and jokingly said, “Now that’s what I call crashing with a smile!” Oh, the joys of coaching.

During another session with the “Mitys” and the “Minis” (ages 5-8) we played a unique agility game where the kids could shoot a puck into an empty net to earn one point for their team or they could use their skates to kick a soccer ball into an empty net to score two points. One of my Red team players, Benjamin, took the harder route of dribbling a soccer ball on ice with his skates and maneuvered himself into position to take a shot. As he kicked the soccer ball he lost his balance and the ball clanged off the post, but he slid full body into the empty net! We all laughed heartily with him, not at him. He learned to go hard to the net and to try his best, and we pointed out his effort to the rest of the skaters at the end of practice. Benjamin went off the ice with a big smile and gave me a high-five. Yes indeed, the joys of coaching.

Earlier in the week we were working with the Under-19 girls’ team. As practice ended, our staff, including my former Penn State assistant coach Matt Bertani, called all the graduating seniors together. There the owner of Overspeed Hockey and our head instructor, Toby O’Brien, my longtime friend and the former general manager and head coach of the Johnstown Chiefs, gave a very emotional speech. He reminded the girls that we first met them all when they were 11 years old, and now six years later this would likely be our last time on the ice with them. Suddenly tears were flowing all around and even yours truly was pretty choked up. 

No one knows for sure if any of these senior girls will end up playing college hockey like Sun Valley natives Jessie and Annie Burks, who are NCAA D1 scholarship players at RIT. Yes, the same RIT that was just in Pegula Ice Arena this past weekend to play our 11th-ranked Penn State women’s team and is coached by Celeste Brown, a former PSU assistant coach who just happens to be an instructor at the Overspeed Hockey Summer Camps. It doesn’t matter because these young ladies have developed a passion for a sport that they can play the rest of their lives. The rewards of coaching good young people.

Six years ago, Johnstown native Chad O’Brien, Toby’s son and former long-time Penn State hockey camp attendee, decided to travel out west to play semi-pro hockey for the Sun Valley Suns and work in the legendary ski resort town. No one could have predicted the relationships that have developed since Chad took over as the Campion Ice House hockey director and that Overspeed Hockey (based out of Newport, Rhode Island) would find a western partner with the good people of Sun Valley, Ketchum, Hailey, Bellevue and other areas of Idaho and adjacent states. I have been involved with many youth sports programs and few rival what I have witnessed in the Sun Valley Youth Hockey Association. The joys of working with administrators and parents who “get it.”

It starts with a commitment to the kids and a philosophy that puts development ahead of winning. I mean these kids all skate up to the coaches and say a very genuine thank you after each practice. It is a testament to the leadership of the organization, the volunteer spirit of the families involved and the great work of the Campion Ice House staff.  Oh, things aren’t always perfect, but in the five and a half years that I have had the pleasure of getting to work with these folks, I can say with great confidence that few youth organizations get it as right as they do.

At 62, I wasn’t sure that 27 on-ice sessions in one week (plus skiing at a world class resort like Sun Valley) was a smart idea.  When I left Bluffton, South Carolina on Jan. 8 it was 67 degrees. When I arrived in Sun Valley it was 21 degrees and they received 10 inches of new snow in the first two days on top of the almost 3 feet they already had so far.  It was amazing.  But it was mostly amazing because of the opportunity to see the friends I’ve made since that first camp and the young athletes that I have come to respect and enjoy helping to develop both on and off the ice. You want to be around them because they make coaching a joy.

In fact, when we had time off on Friday night and after our Saturday morning sessions, it would have been easy to avoid the rink and go explore the town of Hailey, where Bruce Willis and Demi Moore used to own a whole block. Instead, we went to watch Chad O’Brien and his Sun Valley Suns teammates play the Wilmington (Delaware) Wheels in front of a standing room only crowd.  

You ready for this? Penn State hockey alums Peter Sweetland and Richie O’Brien were there playing for the Wilmington team! Richie’s father, Rick, was my teammate at Penn State in the late 70s. We ran into lots of parents and kids from the youth hockey program and even chatted with a former college goalie from back east, Bobby Farrelly, better known to most as the co-writer/director of the hit comedies “Dumb and Dumber” and “Something About Mary.”

After our Saturday morning sessions, we ran into Richie, Peter and Peter’s parents at Shorty’s Diner in town, which was once owned by Bruce Willis. We went back to the rink to watch the high school JV team play two games as Chad O’Brien is their head coach. It was great to see some of the kids we work with in the summer camps and winter clinic in action. The scoresheet will show the Sun Valley JV team lost both games to Teton Valley’s varsity team.

But when is a loss not really a loss? When you see progress. When you lose by a goal to a team that should beat you by 5 or 6. When you fall behind but score twice in the final minutes to narrowly lose 5-4. Watching the JV players come off the ice to a gauntlet of their friends and varsity players who came to support them as though they had just won a playoff game was priceless. A prideful father giving his son Coach Chad a big hug because everyone could see the progress the players were making. There was a real sense of accomplishment and sheer joy on all their faces.  The next day Ballard, one of the JV players, texted me, “Thanks for coming to the game Coach! Made my whole weekend to have you guys there. Thanks for all the help during the week.” Yes, the joy of coaching is for real.

I’ve had the pleasure of coaching and working with some amazing athletes all the way from learn-to-skate programs to travel teams, high school, prep school, juniors, college to professionals. I get as much joy helping 5-year-old Charlie or 6-year-old Ellie have fun on the ice as I did coaching the elite athletes. Most of my coaching life has been filled with amazing memories, fun and fulfillment. While there have been lows, there have been far more magical moments.

Of the lows, almost all come back to unreasonable adults, mostly ill-informed parents, making irrational decisions or having unrealistic expectations and pushing kids too far. It bothers me when I hear qualified coaches, beaten down by bureaucracy and unrealistic parental expectations, sarcastically say things like, “Next team I coach, it will be a team of orphans.” Parents, don’t spoil it for the kids. Think before you act on decisions that impact a select few and in the end damage an organization instead of acting for the greater good. Make the joy of playing meaningful for all. Grow the game.

It’s why I was saddened beyond words that State College Area School District was recently embroiled in a Title IX lawsuit over youth hockey. I do not know all the details, but it frustrates me that reasonable adults could not figure out win-win solutions for the benefit of the student-athletes. The money, time, energy, and angst that could have been spared had everyone worked together to find any solution that didn’t have to involve the legal system. No one really “won” this disagreement, not really. Especially the kids. The money spent on attorneys would have been put to better use on extra ice time. ‘Nuff said.

It’s my hope that in the brave new world of youth and college sports that we won’t forget that so very few of these kids will ever make their living playing a sport. That the decisions of the administrators, team managers, coaches and parents will always put the kids’ best interests first.  As coaches I hope that seeing the pure joy on the faces of your athletes will dominate what motivates you to coach.  The smiles on the faces of the Rileys, Benjamins, Charlies, Ellies and Ballards are what really matters. It’s the real joy of coaching.