By MARC MCCANN
When my three boys were young, bedtime often meant reading books with them individually, from picture books when they were toddlers, to longer books and novels in upper elementary school. Think Captain Underpants, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and Lemony Snicket’s, “A Series of Unfortunate Events,” read with exaggerated and funny voices.
But often the call from my sons was to tell stories about when I was a kid, and about my parents and grandparents, and what it was like growing up. They loved hearing the names and the places of my neighborhood and learning about the family history that they felt part of. As they moved into middle and high school, our boys still asked for stories, but now they wanted to know how our younger selves handled teachers and school, difficult people, finding jobs, and other obstacles in life.
Muriel Rekeyser wrote “the universe is made of stories, not of atoms.” Sharing family stories and your personal joys, challenges and triumphs (age-appropriately) can be powerful tools to help your kids understood you, and how you became the person they know. They’re also powerful tools in helping your children understand themselves.
Action Points:
Engage your kids in reading books, if not already. Look for opportunities to get them excited about certain books or writers, through school book sales, author events, or summer reading programs at your local library. Show your children you value books and stories, by letting them see you read.
Consider talking with your partner about the stories you share with your kids. Is this a regular part of your routine, at meals or bedtime or some other part of the day?
Think about intentionally arranging dates for your children to “interview” their grandparents or other family members – who will likely be thrilled with the request. You could video record with a phone, if desired, or styled into a podcast (be creative).
Explore building or working on a family tree with your kids, including not just dates and facts, but collecting pictures, documents, and of course – stories. Could you start by adding stories gathered by interviewing family members?
Marc McCann is an Internship Coordinator at Penn State who has been involved in human services and the local fathering effort in Centre County for 25 years. In cooperation with the National Center for Fathering, we aim to provide monthly Action Ideas to stimulate conversation among families. To comment on this article, for more information, or to join local conversations, contact Marc at marc.mccann88@gmail.com.
