Tolerance. According to Webster’s dictionary, tolerance is defined as a willingness to accept feelings, habits, or beliefs that are different from your own.
The practice of tolerance came to mind for me last week when I read about the controversy surrounding PSU alumni and former basketball star John Amaechi.
Amaechi has been selected as Grand Marshal for this year’s Penn State Homecoming parade. Amaechi, reportedly the first openly gay NBA player, says he considered stepping down from the honorary position after receiving homophobic and racist tweets and emails following the announcement. At least some of those comments were purportedly fueled by an interview that Amaechi gave ESPN in the days immediately after the Sandusky scandal broke. In that 2011 interview Amaechi was asked how he felt about being a Penn State alumni. “Ugh.” he said. “I felt ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated.”
It appears that some of the Penn State faithful were not happy with that interview or with Amaechi’s selection because the honor of Grand Marshal has traditionally been presented to a high profile and devoted Penn State alum.
My initial thoughts when reading about both Mr. Amaechi’s rush to judgment and then the alleged tweets and emails was “How can people be so hateful and so stupid?”
Wait a minute. Doesn’t that make me intolerant too?
How many times do we turn on the TV or read an article in which people express their outrage at the intolerance of others but do so through the use of put-downs, derogatory language and disrespect? We demand that others be tolerant of our views, our lifestyles and our opinions but then “diss” those whose views, lifestyles and opinions are different from ours.
It seems that those who scream the loudest about tolerance are usually the most intolerant of others.
People tout social justice and a love for humanity in the name of religion but then judge people for their sexual orientation. Others support political views that are in favor of helping our fellow man and supporting equal opportunities for all but then cast aspersions on people who have resources or who are successful. We raise our fists in demand of fairness and respect unless that person or that group’s viewpoints are different than ours.
It reminds me of the song “Everyday People” by Sly and the Family Stone.
There is a yellow one
That won’t accept the black one
That won’t accept the red one
That won’t accept the white one
It sometimes feels like I’m the lone Republican at the university. I’ve heard all the jokes, all the negative references and my all-time favorite, “How can someone as smart as you are think like that?” I’ve called it “acceptable intolerance.” Thankfully, I have pretty thick skin. Change out my Republican label, however, and insert my race or religion or sexual orientation and those exact same jokes, references and questions become Human Resource ready complaints about intolerance.
Sometimes it seems that tolerance only applies to some people.
I remember watching one of my children’s classmates go through some personal struggles in middle school. We encouraged our kid to be understanding, supportive and yes – tolerant. That same kid who struggled in middle school became the leader of the bully pack in later years, cyberbullying, making fun of others and really being unkind. The other kids – and many parents – were afraid to raise concerns for fear of being called homophobic or intolerant.
People sometimes rationalize intolerance as a “get even” for past slights or the uneven playing field. In other words, my views or my group have been disrespected for so long it gives me the right to be intolerant too. It would be like me saying that my sisters in feminism and I have been second class citizens for so long it gives us the right to make sexist comments and jokes about men so as to catch up.
Tolerance – and respect – is a two way street.
In that interview with ESPN, John Amaechi, a man who has undoubtedly faced intolerance in his life, called Joe Paterno a man of “part-time principle.” Ironically, at the time, not a single person (particularly Sandusky) had even gone to trial. Judging people. Jumping to conclusions. Sterotyping and labeling. I keep coming back to the quote from Austin Powers in Goldmember. “There are only two things I can’t stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures … and the Dutch.”
I’m guessing Mr. Amaechi is, in fact, proud of being a Penn Stater. At the time of that interview, the Penn State community was in shock as we waited (and still wait) for the full story to be told. Let’s hope he’s come back around.
People who say or send hateful things that are based in fear or uncertainty should remember that tolerance works both ways. You don’t have to agree with everybody or even like their ideas but it doesn’t give you permission to treat them with disrespect.
