“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
— 2 Timothy 4:7
Ben Franklin once wrote, “Our new Constitution is now established, everything seems to promise it will be durable; but, in this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes.” We’ll save the taxes part for another column and focus today on the reality that we will all face a worldly death sooner or later.
While no one leaps out of bed in the morning eager to have end-of-life discussions with or involving loved ones, it is top of mind for me these days. I have been forced to think more deeply about mortality with the current health issues affecting my 92-year-old father, the recent unexpected passing of my beloved Aunt Joanie Battista, and the ongoing battle that my friend Paul Cifaldi is waging with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.
Yes, it is extremely difficult, yet it’s a very important topic that we too often delay or avoid altogether. Given the circumstances impacting my extended family and inspired by the wisdom of my friend and fellow columnist Bill Horlacher, I felt compelled to share a couple of stories that reminded me that it is better to have the tough conversations proactively instead of reactively. Especially when it comes to faith.
Six weeks ago, my father, who still lives in his Pittsburgh home, had a hard fall that left him with three fractures in his right ankle and a fracture in his left leg. He’s remained remarkably healthy over the years but anyone who has dealt with the elderly knows that a fall can precipitate many additional health issues.
For my mother and brother (who lives 10 minutes away), it meant a lot of immediate worry and stress until things settled down. Thankfully, my mom is still sharp, very organized and can be a bulldog when it comes to advocating for my dad’s health needs. My brother Jan is Johnny-on-the-spot, ready to assist with just about anything thrown their way, and has friends in just about any trade and service industry to solve challenges as they come up. A special note of thanks to my cousin Chuck Cook whose electrical wiring skills were put to the test and he came through with a project at my parent’s home!
As for me, I’m still playing the role of a coach — thinking about the next “opponent,” making sure the right resources are available and developing “game plans” for whatever comes next. It takes a lot of people to provide the right resources at the right time. Thankfully, we all talk often and I’m grateful for my mother, brother and other family and friends who are helping. My mother is a devout Catholic and her faith has sustained her through more challenges than time allows in this column. My mother is still fighting the good fight, running the race and living her faith.
My mom has also been blessed to have had her equally devoted Christian sisters-in-law Joanie Battista and Gerri Fiore there for her as great friends and believers in Christ. That was until just a few weeks ago when we received word from my cousin (and Penn State alumna) Cheryl (Battista) Plewa that my Aunt Joanie had unexpectedly suffered a massive stroke at Cheryl’s home in Phoenix. It was not the kind of news any of us were prepared to hear, especially my cousin who had just dealt with several losses with her husband Ray’s family. Joanie and Cheryl were even supposed to leave for a cruise the following week.
My cousins and I lived an amazing, traditional Italian childhood surrounded by our extended family at holidays and many Sunday dinners. My aunts were all blessed with special talents and my Aunt Joanie Battista’s superpower was that she was blessed with both the ability, and a genuine willingness, to listen to anyone in need. It was her spiritual gift, and it was no doubt because of her faith, which was unwavering.
Joanie had an infectious smile. She lit up a room as soon as she entered and could lift anyone’s spirits and bring a smile to their face. As a teenager and young adult, it was my Aunt Joanie who I could confide in and talk to about anything. Her celebration of life took place in her home neighborhood of Brookline in Pittsburgh at the Church of the Resurrection, the same church she attended for the majority of her life. Her twin grandsons Troy and Tanner delivered the readings and Cheryl’s husband, Ray, gave an emotional eulogy that was spot on and captured the very essence of my aunt’s life.
What was obvious during the service was that Joanie had a lot of best friends and was going to be missed. When my cousin relayed that her mother had told her not to worry that she was ready to go, we all knew that meant in her soul. Just before she passed, she opened her eyes and blew her daughter a kiss. My Aunt Joanie most assuredly fought the good fight, finished the race and kept the faith.
I first met Paul Cifaldi at the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) High School football camp at the University of South Carolina-Beaufort (USCB) back in June. While I was a novice Huddle Leader, Paul took me under his wing and encouraged me to “be bold” and help the players to see the benefits of a personal relationship with Jesus. He was so energetic and had a bigger than life aura about him.
The other volunteers spoke about Paul with reverence and informed me that he was in the middle of a fight for his life against stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He never said a word about his cancer to me. During one of the group prayers Paul was leading, he was directly in front of me, and I was so amazed at the back of the shirt he was wearing that I just instinctively snapped a picture of him. The shirt had the verse from 2 Timothy 4:7 – “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” The man knew he was dying even then.
Paul became the director of the FCA South Coastal chapter 2010 when he walked away from his lucrative Coastal Marketing Services business and devoted his life to FCA ministry with the full support of his family. His impact on coaches and student-athletes in the Lowcountry is the stuff of legend.
At this year’s FCA South Coastal chapter “Heart and Soul” dinner, Paul was honored. It was the first time that I had ever seen a picture of him in his prime when he was a physical specimen and clearly an outstanding athlete. It took all his strength to walk to the front of the room to speak. While we were all there in part to honor Paul, he spent his time challenging all of us to help others to be better Christians and to spread the gospel to young athletes. He boldly asked everyone to consider adding a zero to their commitment to support FCA. Who was I to refuse the request from such an elegant disciple?
I have become friends with and an admirer of Paul’s successor, Rob Jacobs, who trained me in the FCA E3 program (Engage, Equip, Empower). I get to see firsthand the fruits of the labor of these men and to see their devotion and the joy that they bring to others. They have inspired me to do my part to give back but in a way that I’m not sure I would’ve thought about 40 years ago. I see my role with the FCA and Youth Ministry at my church as the most important work that I currently do. It took all of my life experiences to reach this stage and I only wish I had realized the impact I could have been making sooner in my life. But I also realize it wasn’t yet my time.
I have done the “Dash” exercise more than once in my day. It’s when you are asked what you would like written on your tombstone that represents the “-“ between the year you were born and the year you pass away. I’ve always answered, “He cared.” While I still like mine, I realize that my mother Angie, my Aunt Joanie and my friend Paul could all easily have 2 Timothy 4:7 as theirs. “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
